The Insomniacs Are Sleeping
by Miss Miasma
Summary: A strange story I wrote on a whim. Odd, no?
1. A

_The Insomniacs Are Sleeping  
__-a tale of heart brake-_

**1-**

"One. Mild anemia. Could be problematic in the later years.  
Two. Overwork- stress. There's a small ulcer in her stomach.  
And the third.  
She's an insomniac.

Once again,  
Could be problematic. Nothing too serious."  
"Thank you, Gina." She nods. She leaves. The clock ticks on. I couldn't help but to feel that medical urge- I_s she alright? One more check-up perhaps. But no, patient's time. Patient's body._  
Such a trained animal you are. So docile, doctor.

So docile.

Martha enters the office, a smile on her face per usual. "Here's your herbal tea." She eyes the patient with mild interest. "She's a cute one. What happened?" I take a deep breath.  
"Mild anemia caused a collapse in her system. Overwork, stress... she runs a ranch you know." I say absentmindedly.  
"The new girl? She really does all that already?" I nod. She continues. "She's cute."  
"Thank you Martha." I say, taking my tea. "That's quite enough for one day." I sip.

It's bitter.  
And I wouldn't have it any other way.

I find myself dozing in my chair. The tea does that. I sit up, rubbing my eyes and sniffing my science coat. Probably not sterile. Not sterile indeed. I haven't left the office, how could it be anything more than-  
The patient stirs.

"Uhn..." Her eyes flutter and I'm afraid she's having a nightmare. I hate when patients have nightmares. They cause stress on the brain which isn't good but waking them when they need sleep... ahh... a doctor's paradox...

"Where am I?" Her voice is light but dense at the same time. It has a fullness to it I can't quite explain and yet it's... the feeling hits me. It's like seeing a cloud when you're five and thinking, _I'd like to walk on those. _Of course you can't but for some reason, it seems like you can at that very moment.  
"You're at the clinic. You fainted..." _She's a cute one._ I clear my throat, a tinge of rose on my face. I'm dating someone. Gina of course. At work we aren't more than coworkers and after work we're both tired... it's understandable that one day... one day... marraige... we shall... won't we? We've been dating for three years. Yet if you asked me the color of her eyes, I would easily say...

The color doesn't come to my mind so I turn my attention back to the patient.

The patient's eyes are chocolate. Brown doesn't do them justice. They are warm and have a crystalline quality to them, despite her fatigue. _She's cute. _Her hair matches her eyes only they have something like honey lying underneath. It all appears to be that rich brown color but when the sun through the window hits it why I swear it's as though the chocolate is molten...

"Fainted?" I nod. She sits up quickly. "My cow!" And of course, (as I expect) she grabs her head, falling sideways. I am there.  
I catch her.  
"Careful." I warn with a smile. She's light in my arms, her body warm from lying in bed. I shouldn't be thinking these things though. I have been dating. For three years. Or has it been four? One can't be too sure. Either way... I've been dating. "You should take it easy. I'll send Gina down to see to the condition of your cow and get some of your neighbors to help. You do live next to the Hank's farm, correct? They'll take care of him."  
"Her."  
"Pardon?"  
"My cow. It's female."  
"Is... is there a difference?" For some reason I'm blushing. To me that's like pointing at a flower and exclaiming it's a male. I would never know there to be any obvious difference or use of knowing the gender. But she's laughing.  
"Only the girls give the milk!" Her statement makes me blush further and she's laughing again. "Sorry if I embarrassed you! It really is true though. Makes sense, right?" How can she be so vibrant after this? I find I am smiling, heartier than before. It's good to smile. Or so I've been told. "Her name's Potana."  
"Potana?" _Why does she know the name of a medicinal herb... and why is her cow...? _But she nods, continuing.  
"You see, when I first started, it was really rough. I've had slight medical problems and was afraid of collapsing as I foraged in the mines and forest for some money so I always had some potana root in my pocket. It saved me I guess. So I promised that whatever animal I get, I'd name it Potana. It suits her. She's so calm." Her eyes are so warm. How can they be this warm in the middle of winter?  
"Alex." I offer.  
"Sarina." She returns.  
"Well Sarina, a few more days and you'll be good to go." She's blushing now. I wonder why?  
Then I realize I'm still holding her from when she slipped sideways.

Now we're both blushing.


	2. Dark

_The Insomniacs Are Sleeping  
-a tale of heart brake-_

**2-**

"My stomach hurts a little..." Rubbing my stomach, I look up at him, finding only concern. Strange for a doctor to show that much compassion. Maybe he really loves his job...?  
"You have an ulcer. It's small but it will hurt. I guess the medications have stopped doing there job." He sighs and goes to the back room where I hear paper flipping and a drawer being opened. I hope it's not a shot. I really hate shots. He comes back with... what else. A syringe.  
"Is it going to hurt?" I whisper. His eyes are opened wide with confusion.  
"Hurt?" He repeats, a small smile appearing on his face. "No it shouldn't. But- you're afraid of shots aren't you?" I nod. _I'm such a dummy. He's being so nice, wasting his time on my ailments. _"Hey can you do me a favor?"  
"Favor?" My turn to repeat things. He nods.  
"Yes. I need you to tell me what kind of tree that is. You seem to know a lot about things. Could you?" He points out the window. I turn my head and smile.  
"That's simple! It's a Mora tree. Changes colors with the seasons. Quite pretty don't you-" I turn my head back to him and find the needle in my arm. I didn't even feel it. My eyes grow wide. He pulls it out and looks up at me.  
"Go on."  
"No! That was a dirty trick!" And yet I'm smiling. I don't know why but I am. He simply chuckles.  
"It's a mental thing. Patients tend to be more afraid of it in their minds and when they see something, they create a fear or a pain. It's not real. It's not meant to hurt. I hope it didn't." His eyes a like the night sky. They're so dark and hidden and yet... there's something in them that glimmers, some passion burning far away...

"It... it didn't. I-" I bow my head. "I'm sorry." I can feel my blush already. "I should be used to shots, right? But for some reason they always scare me."  
"What's to be so frightening in here? If there was something scary, I'd know about it." He smiles again. It's strange- his smiles. Like he's smiling on the inside, a grand dazzling gorgeously happy smile but on the outside, it comes out in a thin wisp... it's almost like he's holding back. Almost like he's keeping everything inside himself, like a stubborn child hoarding all the toys. I can't help but to laugh. "The scariest thing in here is probably me and I don't bite."  
"My dog does."  
"You have a dog too?"  
"And a pig..."  
"A pig! How- why?"  
"Never mind... long story."  
"What are there names? Or... genders? Whichever is more important."  
"Names are definitely more important pet-wise." I say with a laugh. "The dog's name is Puddles... you can guess why. And the pig's name is Truffle."  
"Truffle?" I point outside and he looks confused.  
"The Mora tree. Truffles are found under Mora trees but they're still so hidden it takes a special kind of nose to find them. A pig's nose."  
"That's awfully clever." He seems to be reflecting on something inside himself. He reminds me for an instant of a turtle, hiding from the world inside his shell and thinking about something so deep that nothing can pry him out. And if you remove the shell... he dies.  
"What are you thinking..." I murmur, lost in thought.  
"What?"  
"I- I'm tired. Thank you so much for looking after me. I think- I think I'll take a nap now."  
"Wait-" He blushes crimson. _Wait..? A doctor usually doesn't tell his patients not to sleep. Especially when they have sleeping problems to begin with._ "I just was wondering... have you... settled in? Are you- are you bonding well with every one here?" _Strange question._

"Every one's nice I guess. But so far, you're my favorite." I smile wide to show him I mean well and laugh quietly before sinking into the covers. He really is nice...

The last thing I see is his dark hair shadowing those mysterious eyes, lost in thought.


	3. Secret

_The Insomniacs Are Sleeping  
-a tale of heart brake-_

**3-**

It was midnight. Sarina was staring up at the ceiling. She knew she was tired; she could almost feel it.  
Almost.

She glanced over at Alex's office. He hadn't left yet. Usually he leaves around twelve. Leaves for his house? But where was his home? Where did he live? Who does he live with? His mother? Girlfriend? Wife? Why was he still here? Lost in his practice... devoting his time to patient after patient. They get better. They leave.

He's always alone, isn't he?

Always.

Alex was seated, leaning over his desk. From one angle, it looked as though he were studying deeply. But from a different angle, one could plainly see...

He was asleep.

Sarina stood carefully. She felt fine though Alex had insisted she stay for one more day at least. She'd already been there for two days. It was past midnight; the third day. In the morning...  
She stood outside his office, the gentle sound of her breathing startling her. For some reason, in her mind, it was as though the doctor never slept. Of course the notion was ridiculous... she opened the door slowly, peering into the darkness she was so used to. He looked so... _Vulnerable. So grounded and... so tired._ She didn't want to disturb him so turned around, her door on the handle.

"Sarina?" She jumped at the sound, turning slowly. Alex was sitting up, looking fully awakened. "Sorry... I'm a light sleeper... you shouldn't be out of bed."  
"No- really... I'm fine. I've been feeling great since I got here to be honest." She smiled and bowed. "Sorry for waking you up."  
"No... I really should get going actually. I-" Something clouded his face. "I was dreaming..."  
"Dreaming?" For a moment he seemed embarrassed and she cocked her head to the side. "Tell me." Alex took a deep breath.  
"I can't. Really. It's- taboo." He chuckled but she held her gaze.  
"Really. It's alright. I wish I could dream."  
"You-?" She shook her head.  
"I don't sleep, remember?"  
"No of course! You should take some pills- get some-"  
"Please tell me..." She whispered, looking into his eyes. "I like the idea of dreams. I can't remember ever having a dream. I wish- would you tell me?" Alex hesitated, looking deep into her eyes, searching them as though trying to find a way to gauge her pre-reaction.

He inhaled. Then spoke. "I dreamt of you. Nothing bad. I usually dream about my patients. How they're doing. That's why I was afraid to tell you- it may seem inappropriate." Sarina shook her head.  
"What happened?"  
"We-" He blushed. "No it's nothing. Just a dream."  
"... Yes but it was about me. I would like to here more. Please." Once again he looked up at her.  
"Ok. It was... we were... together." _He's avoiding something. A word or phrase. _  
"Together? How so?" She pushed on, a small smile on her face. She could see him gulp from across the room.  
"We were... oh it's taboo! Like I said. I can't... date patients." He added, blushing. "Shouldn't... shouldn't date-" he corrected himself, looking away. It was a moment before Sarina spoke.

"If I could dream... I would dream that very same thing.

I would dream...

I would dream that we were together." At this she smiled and held up her hand. "Good night doctor." Closing the door behind her, she returned to her bed.

Hesitating, Alex lowered his head back down on the desk, eyes sliding shut.

_Just a dream..._

Right?

* * *

In the morning, Alex came out. Sarina was staring up at the ceiling. He had forgotten to give her sleeping medicine. She didn't glance at him, didn't look at him at all. He cleared his throat, she still didn't look over.  
"Sarina-" A tear ran down her cheek and confusion clouded his face. "Sarina!" He ran over to her bed, hands on her shoulders. 

"I'm so sorry, Alex. I'm just... I thought about you all night. And- you're so lonely, Alex. You're so sad. And yet- there's something about you that's... I'm sorry. My stomach hurts. Why does it hurt so badly?"

He held her hand.

"What's wrong? You're-?"

"I want you to be happy. I've never known anyone so sad. Why are you so sad? Why can't you allow yourself something, anything...?" Her voice was a whisper.

"Sarina! What's wrong?"

"My stomach-" Her body grew rigid with pain and she gasped. "It hurts-"

"It isn't an ulcer, is it...?" She shook her head. "Then...?"

"Cancer." She whispered.

It was enough.  
Enough to break Alex shell.  
Enough to allow Alex a little bit. Even if it was just a little.

He bowed his head  
and cried.


End file.
